Best Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma Books

The following is our recommended best book list for sex addiction, betrayal trauma, and mental health recovery. Bold format denotes very highly recommended book. If it’s missing here, we didn’t read yet or don’t recommend highly. If we missed any, please email us with your suggestions.

Sex Addiction Recovery Books

Treating Out of Control Sexual Behavior: Rethinking Sex Addiction by Douglas Braun-Harvey and Michael A. Vigorito

Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction By: Eddie Capparucci

Awakening from the Sexually Addicted Mind: A Compassionate Guide to Recovery Paperback by Darrin Ford

Sex Addiction: A Guide for Couples and Those Who Help Them – Paula Hall

Treating Sexual Addiction: A Compassionate Approach to Recovery By: Dr. Kevin B. Skinner

TINSA: A Neurological Approach to the Treatment of Sex Addiction by Michael Barta

Unwanted by Jay Stringer

Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction By: Alexandra Katehakis


Sex Addiction Psychoeducation Books


traditional sexual addiction books (good to understand this from all sides):

Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes

Sex Addiction 101 by Robert Weiss

against sex as an addiction:

The Myth of Sex Addiction Book by David J. Ley


It’s Not About the Sex: Moving from Isolation to Intimacy after Sexual Addiction By: Andrew Susskind LCSW SEP CGP

Getting Real about Sex Addiction by Graeme Daniels


Betrayal Trauma Books


Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help their Partners Heal by Carol Juergensen Sheets, Allan J. Katz

After the Affair, Third Edition: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by: Janis A. Spring

Moving Beyond Betrayal By: Vicki Tidwell Palmer

Why Won’t You Apologize? By: Harriet Lerner PhD

Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal: The Essential Tools for Healing By: Dr. Kevin B. Skinner

Intimate Deception Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal By: Dr. Sheri Keffer

I Love You but I Don’t Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship By: Mira Kirshenbaum

How Can I Forgive You? By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring

Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder: The Six Stages of Healing By: Dennis C. Ortman PhD

Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts Paperback – by Stefanie Carnes

How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful  By: Linda J. MacDonald

Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse  By: Jackson MacKenzie

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person When – and Why – Love Doesn’t Work By: Howard M. Halpern PhD

Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back By: Stephen Arterburn

 Not ‘Just Friends’ by Shirley P. Glass Ph.D., Jean Coppock Staeheli

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal By: Barbara Steffens


General Mindfulness Books

Mindfulness is the foundation of the most effective therapies used in sex and porn addiction.

The Art of Living: Peace and Freedom in the Here and Now by Thich Nhat Hanh

Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha  By: Tara Brach

The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield

Neurodharma  by Rick Hanson

Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hanson

A Monk’s Guide to Happiness: Meditation in the 21st Century By: Gelong Thubten

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times By: Pema Chödrön

The Tao of Fully Feeling By: Pete Walker

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself By: Michael A. Singer

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle

The Science of Enlightenment: How Meditation Works by Shinzen Young

10% Happier Revised Edition: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works: A True Story By: Dan Harris

ACT, CBT and DBT Books

The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living By: Russ Harris

A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Steven C. Hayes

Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN By: Tara Brach

Mindfulness for Borderline Personality Disorder: Relieve Your Suffering Using the Core Skill of Dialectical Behavior Therapy By: Blaise Aguirre MD , Gillian Galen PsyD

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life By: Byron Katie

Reclaim Your Life: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy in 7 Weeks. Strategies to Manage Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, OCD, and More By: Carissa Gustafson PsyD

Calming the Emotional Storm – Sheri Van Dijk

The mindfulness Solution for Intense Emotions by Cedar Koons

 The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder Through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating By: Kiera Van Gelder

The Mindfulness Solution for Intense Emotions: Take Control of Borderline Personality Disorder with DBT

Cravings and Addictions: Free Yourself from the Struggle of Addictive Behavior with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy By: Maria Karekla PhD , Megan M. Kelly PhD


Shame, Compassion, Forgiveness Books

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions By: Christopher K. Germer

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself By: Kristin Neff

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brene Brown

Radical Self-Forgiveness Practices By Colin Tripping

Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem By: Joseph Burgo PhD

Goodbye to Guilt By: Gerald G. Jampolsky M.D., Diane V. Cirincione Ph.D.

Shame & Guilt: Masters of Disguise By: Jane Middleton-Moz

Training in Compassion: Zen Teachings on the Practice of Lojong By: Norman Fischer

The Science of Compassion: A Modern Approach for Cultivating Empathy, Love, and Connection By: Kelly McGonigal Ph.D.

Healing Shame: How to Work with This Powerful, Mysterious Emotion – and Transform It into an Ally By: Bret Lyon PhD SEP , Sheila Rubin MA LMFT RDT/BCT

FLIP the Gratitude Switch: A Simple Formula to Change the Trajectory of Your Life By: Kevin Clayson

Healing the Shame That Binds You By: John Bradshaw

Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame By: Beverly Engel


Other Mental Health Books

Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation By: Daniel J. Siegel

Don’t Feed the Monkey Mind: How to Stop the Cycle of Anxiety, Fear, and Worry by Jennifer Shannon LMFT

Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry By: Catherine M. Pittman PhD , Elizabeth M. Karle MLIS

Man’s Search for Meaning By: Viktor E. Frankl

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy By: David D. Burns

Brain Lock, Twentieth Anniversary Edition: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior By: Jeffrey M. Schwartz

The Four Agreements: Don Miguel Ruiz

The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness By: Mark Williams

Emotional Intelligence, 10th Edition By: Daniel Goleman


Books on Addiction Recovery

The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease By: Marc Lewis PhD

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction By: Gabor Maté

Never Enough The Neuroscience and Experience of Addiction By: Judith Grisel

Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction By: Maia Szalavitz

The Mindful Path to Addiction Recovery – Lawrence Peltz

I’ll start again Monday. By Lysa Terkeurst

Addiction, Procrastination, and Laziness: A Proactive Guide to the Psychology of Motivation By: Roman Gelperin

Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence

Rezoom: The Powerful Reframe to End the Crash-and-Burn Cycle of Food Addiction By: Susan Peirce Thompson PhD , Everett Considine

Food Junkies: Recovery from Food Addiction By: Vera Tarman

Rewired: A Bold New Approach to Addiction and Recovery: Erica Spiegelman

Internal Family Systems Therapy Books

Greater than the sum of our parts: discovering your true self through internal family systems therapy: Richard Schwartz (listen to audio for guided meditations)

Internal Family Systems Therapy: Second Edition – Richard Schwartz

Parts Work: A Guide to Your Inner Life By: Tom Holmes PhD , Lauri Holmes MSW

Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual: Trauma-Informed Treatment for Anxiety, Depression, PTSD & Substance Abuse By: Frank G. Anderson MD , Martha Sweezy PhD , Richard C. Schwartz

Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy: Awareness, Breath, Resonance, Movement, and Touch in Practice By: Susan McConnell

Altogether You: Experiencing Personal and Spiritual Transformation with Internal Family Systems Therapy by Jenna Riemersma

Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation By: Janina Fisher

No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz

Intimacy from the Inside Out: Courage and Compassion in Couple Therapy by Martha Sweezy

An Internal Family Systems Guide to Recovery from Eating Disorders: Healing Part by Part By: Amy Yandel Grabowski

Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems By: Frank G. Anderson

Reinventing Your Life Jeffrey Young, Janet Klosko (Schema Therapy—like IFS)

Experiencing Schema Therapy from the Inside Out: A Self-Practice/Self-Reflection Workbook by Joan M. Farrell, Ida A. Shaw

Self-Therapy, 2nd Edition By: Jay Earley


The Best Books on Trauma

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

Complex PTSD By: Pete Walker

Waking the Tiger By: Peter A. Levine

It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle By: Mark Wolynn

Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment By: Pat Ogden , Janina Fisher

Gifts from a Challenging Childhood by Jan Bergestrom

Connecting Paradigms: A Trauma Informed & Neurobiological Framework for Motivational Interviewing Implementation by Bennett. Matthew S

Rethinking Trauma Treatment: Attachment, Memory Reconsolidation, and Resilience By: Courtney Armstrong


The Best Books on Attachment

Attachment Disturbances in Adults By: Danial P. Brown, David S. Elliott

Anatomy of Love  by Helen Fisher

Wired for Love By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT

The journey from abondment to healing: surviving through and recover form the five stages that accompany the loss of love – Susan Anderson

The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships By: Diane Poole Heller PhD , Peter A. Levine

Overcome Neediness and get the love you want: Jack Ito

Insecure In Love – Leslie Becker-Phelps

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love By: Amir Levine , Rachel Heller

87 minutes by Kent Hoffman

Addiction as an Attachment Disorder By: Philip J. Flores

Addiction, Attachment, Trauma, and Recovery: The Power of Connection By: Oliver J. Morgan

Stoicisim Books

A Handbook for New Stoics: How to Thrive in a World out of Your Control; 52 Week-by-Week Lessons By: Massimo Pigliucci , Gregory Lopez

The Stoic Challenge: A Philosopher’s Guide to Becoming Tougher, Calmer, and More Resilient – William Irvine

How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius By: Donald Robertson

The Practicing Stoic by Ward Farnsworth

ADHD Books

Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It By: Gabor Maté MD

ADHD in intimate relationships – Stefan Rudnicki

The Smart but Scattered Guide to Success: How to Use Your Brain’s Executive Skills to Keep Up, Stay Calm, and Get Organized at Work and at Home By: Peg Dawson EdD

The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps by Melissa Orlov

Communication Books

Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication By: Oren Jay Sofer , Joseph Goldstein

Nonviolent Communication: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values by Marshall Rosenberg PhD

The Art of Conflict Management: achieving solutions for life, work, and beyond

The Zen of Listening By: Rebecca Z. Shafir MA CCC

Communication Skills for Couples: 21 Practices: Work with Your Partner to Build a Mindful Relationship, Improve Emotional Intelligence and Grow Empathy for Each Other Communication Skills Series, Book 4 By: Marshall Patterson

Narcissism Books

Rethinking Narcissism – The bad and surprising good about feeling special – Craig Milkin

You Might Be a Narcissist If… – How to Identify Narcissism in Ourselves and Others and What We Can Do About It By: Paul Meier , Cynthia Munz , Lisa Charlebois

Healing from Narcissism: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovering Your Personality from Narcissistic Disorder, Discover Compassion and Love for Others. Get Over the Addiction of Self-Obsession By: Dr. Rachel Bancroft PsyD

Relationships Books

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work By: Terrence Real

How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving By: David Richo

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love By: Dr. Sue Johnson EdD

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated By: John M. Gottman PhD

Secrets of a Passionate Marriage By: David Schnarch 

Fierce Intimacy  by Terrence Real

We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love By: Stan Tatkin

The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship by Kaley Klemp and Nate Klemp PhD

No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated) By: Dr Robert Glover

The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts By: Gary Chapman

Boundaries in Marriage By: Dr. John Townsend ,

How to be an Adult in Love – David Richo

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It By: Patricia Love , Steven Stosny.

The Ape That Understood the Universe: How the Mind and Culture Evolve By: Steve Stewart-Williams

The Evolution of Desire By: David M. Buss

Books Separation and Divorce

I Wish I knew this Before my Divorce: Ending the battle between holding on and letting go: Elaine and Joseph Foster

Conscious Uncoupling: Five steps to living happily even after: Katherine Woodward Thomas

Hope for the Separated – Gary Chapman

Fighting for your Marriage While Separate: A practical guide for the brokenhearted: Linda Rooks

Rebuilding: when your relationship ends – Bruce Fisher

How to Fix a Broken Heart by Dr. Guy Winch

Also Read:

Online Women’s & Couples Betrayal Trauma Recovery Groups
Betrayed Partner Therapist
Couples counseling for betrayal trauma

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