A common answer you will get to the question of “Do I have a sex addiction?” is “If you’re wondering, if you have to ask, then YES, you probably do.”
That’s a common phrase in the addiction recovery world. Addictive behavior covers a spectrum in terms of how conscientious one is about their behavior.
On one extreme are people who have zero conscientiousness about their behavior. They are acting out all the time and not aware or don’t care about the consequences. If this person is confronted or otherwise has a “come to Jesus” moment about their behavior and googles “do I have a sex addiction?” then your comment is perfect for someone like that.
On the other extreme of the spectrum are those that are extremely conscientious about their behavior. They might have some religious-based OCD or OCD-like anxiety about their sexual behavior. Perhaps their partner has been severely traumatized by an ex who is a sex addict and is accusing them out of a trauma response. Perhaps this person previously had been shamed about their sexuality so they are now hypervigilant. Someone on that side of the spectrum, that comment might be the worst advice you could give them.
Rob Terry is a therapist for clients in Utah and coach for clients outside of Utah and across the globe. He specializes in sex addiction recovery for individuals and couples. He integrates the CSAT, OCSB, and Minwalla models for individual recovery and Gottman Method, RLT, and ERCEM for couples recovery. He is betrayal trauma informed. His therapy modalities are IFS, ACT, CBT, EMDR, and Attachment Theory.
