- Purpose and Support: Use this group to check in regularly, maintain accountability, offer support to fellow members, and seek help when you’re feeling triggered or vulnerable. Remember, we’re here to assist each other in our recovery journey. Let’s make this group awesome.
- Triggering Language: this is tricky, and we may have some trial and error on this. To maintain a safe environment for all members, use general terms instead of explicit or specific language when discussing behaviors. Avoid graphic details that could potentially trigger others. If you’re unsure, err on the side of caution. It’s OK to use words like “porn”, “masturbate”, “sext”, “escort”, but just be careful in the way you speak. If someone feels triggered, you can speak up with “please don’t use triggering language” or contact Rob. Don’t shame someone who is triggered by others language.
- Respecting Partners: Refrain from criticizing, blaming, or speaking excessively negative about your partners or spouses. Focus on your own feelings, experiences, and recovery process. If you discuss relationship issues, do so in a respectful manner that doesn’t demean your partner.
- Confidentiality: What’s shared in the group stays in the group. Maintain strict confidentiality about the identities of group members and the content of their messages. Do not share or discuss group conversations with anyone outside the group including your partners. A big risk in groups like this is something like this. Joe shares something. Jim tells his partner. Jim’s partner knows Joe’s partner and tells her in a way that might be distorted. Chaos ensues. Please be very careful to keep this group safe for everyone, including partners.
- Private Messaging: Do not send private messages to other group members without their explicit permission. This helps maintain appropriate boundaries and prevents potential triggering situations or relapse opportunities. It is encouraged to support each other and private messages or sharing other personal contact info to call or text to support each other is fine, even encouraged, but please respect boundaries on this. If you have someone’s number from sharing in the group, introduce yourself “Hi this is _____”. I recommend as a best practice in sex addiction recovery, we ignore texts from strange numbers that simply say “hey” or “how have you been?”. If it turns out important then they will text again and clarify.
- Dual relationships: Developing private accountability relationships is fine, but please be mindful of how this affects the group at large. Disclosure to the group about these relationships is helpful. Please don’t set up “splinter groups” that might feel like a clique to others.
- Be safe: Don’t participate if you notice this is bringing in unnecessary temptation or distraction. It might be good to turn off notifications for groupme or leave the group, if it’s affecting you negatively.
- Respectful Interaction: Treat all members with respect and kindness. Offer support without judgment. If you disagree with someone, do so politely and constructively.
- Crisis Protocol: This group is not equipped for crisis intervention. If you’re experiencing a crisis or having thoughts of self-harm, please contact emergency services, call a crisis hotline, or reach out to your individual therapist immediately.
- Participation: Regular participation is encouraged, but not mandatory. Share as you feel comfortable, but try to engage with the group consistently to maintain a supportive community.
- Focus on Recovery: Keep conversations focused on recovery, support, and personal growth. Avoid off-topic discussions that don’t contribute to the group’s purpose. Memes, jokes, and casual comments are OK with common sense limitations.
- Reporting Concerns: If you’re concerned about another member’s behavior or feel that someone is violating these rules, please report it to Rob.
Remember, this group is a tool to support your recovery. Use it wisely and responsibly. Your commitment to these rules helps create a safe, supportive environment for everyone’s healing journey.
